


Day 8

by godamnarmsrace



Series: Robron Prison Release Advent Calendar [7]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fear, Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 23:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godamnarmsrace/pseuds/godamnarmsrace
Summary: geekgirlwiggins asked:Oh wait I think I did have a prompt I mentioned in my rambles haha Aaron feels a panic attack coming on and Robert calms him with his hands on his face (keeping it clean ha) x





	

**Author's Note:**

> Possible triggers: Panic attack.

Lungs bursting and yet he had no air to fill, how could he be at once so full and still so empty.

He wanted to run, to keep running but his limbs wouldn’t move and he was trapped. Held in his own prison. Kept in place by fear, no not fear it was something else, panic they called it and yet that wasn’t right either.

Aaron felt disconnected and out of control.

_He was a scared kid alone in his room hoping the door wouldn’t open._

_He was drowning._

_He was alone._

_Nobody loved him._

_He was alone._

_No one ever stays._

_He is alone._

_He was in prison._

_He was alone._

_Robert was going to leave him._

_He was going to be alone._

_He is alone._

_He is alone…_

“Aaron! Aaron! Breathe, you have to breathe for me,” Robert’s voice breaking through.

So not alone yet…not completely. Robert was here.

_But Robert would leave._

_Aaron would make him go._

_He would push him away._

_Aaron would be alone._

_He was an island._

_He was disconnected_

_He will be alone._

“Aaron, oh god. I’m so sorry but I need you to breathe and then I’ll go okay? I’ll leave. I promise I won’t ever hurt you again,” Robert’s hands grabbing at Aaron. Holding him. Grounding him. Together. Here. Now. In this place.

_Aaron wanted to speak. He wants to move. But he didn’t. He couldn’t._

_He was alone._

“Please let me help you,” Robert said his words clear, his hands cupping Aaron’s face.

Aaron looks into Robert’s eyes. He’s here. They’re both here. Together.

There are so many words but he can’t get barely any of them out, “Robert…Go,” he pants try to free his chest of something. It’s not oxygen. He has no air and yet he feels full to bursting with this feeling.

_Tight._

_Broken._

_Alone._

Robert’s eyes close but the tears still manage to get free. “Okay…I’ll go but you need to come back to me first. I can’t leave you like this Aaron. Please.”

It isn’t what he means.

He needs more words.

“No…” he finally chokes out. “Don’t go.”

Aaron shakes his head but Robert continues to hold onto him. His hand warm but firm cupping his cheeks. An anchor.

_His anchor._

“You’re going to leave,” the words came tumbling out of Aaron’s mouth but it took something from him, as he fell to his knees.

“I thought you wanted me to,” Robert said falling to his own knees in front of Aaron never letting go not for one second.

“…Rebecca,”

“Never Aaron!” Robert’s words calmed him. They shouldn’t, Robert was a liar didn’t you know.

_Betrayal._

_Fear._

_Anger._

_Alone._

_Alone._

_Alone._

“Drowning…” Aaron gasped his throat constricted with a flood of new anxiety.

_In the car._

_Drowning._

_Alone._

“You’re not alone Aaron. As long as you’ll have me…messed up forever. I’m not going anywhere. It’s you I love. Just you. It’s only ever been you,” Robert said resting his forehead against Aaron’s.

_Robert._

_Here._

_Together._

_Pain._

_Alone._

_No!_

“You left,” Aaron said after a moment the band across his chest loosening slightly.

“You left me first,’ Robert said accusation filling his words, a harsh wheeze of his own colouring his tone.

Aaron pulled away until he could make Robert see him. “I did,” he agreed. “I’m sorry.”

_Robert’s fear…being alone._

“I know you don’t want to be alone,” Aaron said stroking one of his shaky fingers down Robert’s cheek wet with tears.

“I don’t want to be without you, there’s a difference,” Robert confided, leaning into Aaron’s touch.

Everything hurt still and Aaron still couldn’t move, even as the chill from the ground seeped into his knees. But he didn’t want to move anymore. He wanted to stay here.

With Robert.

Together.

 


End file.
